there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She needs sedatives and a leash
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
