something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
