eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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