I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
