i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
