Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
