yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
either way he was missing a nipple.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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