who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
