Redeem this text for a blowjob
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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