I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You're like the curious george of whores
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
