Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
