just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
and you fell through a lawn chair
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
