The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
