you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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