You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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