If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
