I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
