I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
my liver is dry heaving
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
