I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
