Small penises have feelings too.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
