Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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