sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
