Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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