My liver just broke up with me...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
