wanna go halves on a baby?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
