fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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