so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
