I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize