at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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