whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he thought i was a dude.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
