I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize