it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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