yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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