mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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