is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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