So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize