how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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