We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
