I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
