He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize