i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
