So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
