so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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