I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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