When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
