oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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