thus making me awesome and them whores
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
