So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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