I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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