Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
