Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
