i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
