I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
