im six kinds of drunk right now
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
