So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We're too hungover to prance.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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