Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
