I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
