I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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