her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
