Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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